What I accept and India rejects!

What’s out there? Burning men alive for having beef! As if all the other issues are all set to be resolved in India. Riding the Pakisthanis out even when they stay here for legal purposes (Aleem Dar, Wasim Akram were the few persons who enjoyed the hospitality of the super brilliant Shiv Sena). Havoc in JK, Spending 20k crores of rupees on agri lands to convert it into a world class capital! Aircel is on the move to give it's users basic internet for free but the pulses rates are riding on a boeing with almost 200 rs per KG! (Wow!! This is all what digital India can afford, Text, waste limitless time and starve, Ab ki baar eat the electronics sarkaar!!)

Though there are lot of funny,serious,waste,useful topics out there my mind always searches for  topics which will drag me into controversy, will make many turn against my topic and which is in fact turning against me! J Yeah! That makes me happy.

When the whole world thinks one way, my mind will go in the opposite path. When 98% of population in our country goes to marriage with elder groom, I got a thought that why should it be so? Why should the groom be elder than bride always? Why should it be the default template? What will happen when the bride is little elder than the groom? What harm will it create?

When my mind starts to think, my friends are the sufferers! They did suffer when I asked them the ultra-genius questions which I mentioned above and argued with them on that. But I never thought they can go this crazy before asking them those questions.

I asked one fellow, “Dude what you think about marrying a girl who is slightly elder than you?” God!! Heaven knows how he got such answer in his head. He replied “Pal! Are you crazy? How can you do that man? She will be elder sister kinda thing for you, you can’t do that” I literally face-palmed myself and told him that if you marry a girl who is younger to you she will be younger sister kinda to you, you dumb head! He got dumb after that :D

I didn’t know how I got such brilliant minds as my friends! The one who is with me for a decade told an answer "We should marry a younger girl because when we get old we will die sooner than her, so she can serve us till we live and we can die happily without any hardships but if we marry an elder girl then we will die later than her so we won’t have anybody to serve us so we will suffer" I was dumbfounded, literally!! How can people think this way? First of all his answer, with no doubts tells that his views are male-chauvinistic, Secondly I can never forget that he forgot the concept of “children”. I explained him that we will be with them when we get old (If we are unlucky we will be in old-age homes) so I asked him to throw his ‘innovative’ theory in trash.

Another replied that boys will get married only when they turn 28, but girls should not wait more than 24 because “their pelvic bone will get hard and they can't procreate” When I heard this I put my mobile off, took my hardest pillow (it’s tough to find a hard pillow in my bed because of the way I torture them :P My roomies will understand this exactly) I banged my head with that hard pillow! How come people come up with such crazy crazy ideas? Theories? Can’t women procreate when they turn 30? I accept the fact that when girls marry above 30 years of age they find it hard to bear babies but 24? Isn’t it too early? (ha! I shouldn’t say 24 is early for marriage when I reside in India, because it is the country where the child marriage happens even now, girls get married even before they finish their graduation or they get married at once they finish their graduation, they are made to bear the responsibilities of a family even before they realize what exactly is that)

I have a happy note here, though guys answered  my questions in weird way at least they attempted to give answers and they tried to prove that their answer is right with crazy explanations but when I asked the same questions to girls, they blindly rejected the fact that groom can’t be younger. When I asked for reason they couldn’t give any. They are too aversive of that very idea. They reacted as if I asked them to walk in the streets of any corporation in Tamil Nadu during a rainy day without any shoes or slippers.

Thirty-forty years ago when Tamil cinema gave its audience very monotonous movies, a legend emerged. He introduced stories which cannot happen in a normal society. He wrote stories which has the power to re-build the very foundation of Tamil Society. He spoke about the stories of a forty year old male marrying twenty year old female. He spoke about the life of a widow who is remarried. He has a name which will be carried till the time lies. Late.Mr.K.Bala Chander. Who made  legendary movies like “Avargal”,”Kalki”,”Aval oru thodarkadhai”,”Ethir neechal”.I took him as an inspiration. I took him as one of my inspirations. I never cease to think that why the society is built in such a way that it has no place for weak and oppressed, Why the society is not able to accept the change, Why the society tries to kill the thoughts and people who tend to abide its rules in a different way?

Yeah, you can come against this thought by pulling up a physiological reason. You can tell that if the bride is elder than the groom she tend to get over that procreation age sooner than the groom, so bearing babies is the issue. This could have been the issue before a century or ago, When a couple has more than ten children. Now when hardly any family has more than two children this can never be an issue. The child bearing age for both bride and groom falls in intersection.

I remember a friend who tried to persuade me that girls are psychologically matured than guys who are in same age. But this generation is prone to improvisation. People get to learn and mature faster than people of the past generations. Currently they learn through Wide Web, They get to know things through the vocals of Arnab Goswami, They learn through apps, they interact, and they are open to learning. To be simple the maturity levels are not so different with respect to genders in general. It’s upto the individual to acquire, adapt and get matured.

Few will turn up, holding the boards “We can’t allow this. Traditionally, ethically and religiously it is never possible” They might even go to the extent of burning the people who does that (What kind of people who burns other who doesn't have mind set similar to them? Barbarians!!)

I can site few men who married elder women.

For their convenience I’ll notify Gods who married elder brides.

Lord Balarama-Lady Rohini

Lord Muruga-Lady Devayani

Lord Ram-Lady Sita

Lord Krishna-Lady Radha

Prophet Mohammed-Hazrat Khadijah

For people who tells such kind of marriages is possible only during that period and not now, I have few words for you.

Sachin-Anjali

Shakespeare-Anne Hathway

M.K.Gandhi-Kasturiba

I can quote more such successful examples but it’s not about mentioning pairs, It’s all about understanding what maturity is and adapting to the change.

From what I have observed, Boys are reluctant to this idea because they fear that if the bride is elder than them, the bride might get dominant and they can’t be the actual leader of the pack. Once again the essence of male dominant thoughts comes here. I can't understand why should not be the bride has equal power as the groom! They has every right to be treated equals. 

Girls loath to this plan because they fear that if they marry a younger male they should be little more responsible than what they usually are, girls usually likes to be taken care like how their dads do to them, if the groom is elder they think that he will do what their father does by default but when the groom is younger they are scared that the guy cannot reproduce what their fathers had done to them.

Even when the world changes, It will be hard for the Indians to change. May be it is for a generation earlier. We, the generation which thinks should initiate change. It is the only possible way for a better India. Adaptability to change should happen in all possible areas . It’s not the elder boy who will make a marriage successful, it’s the maturity of the pair and the understanding between them makes the marriage successful. I don’t say that every marriage should have a younger groom, all I say is don’t think or treat weird when a marriage happens with younger groom. 

My dear boys/girls if you get a chance to marry an elder bride/younger groom, the match is so perfect other than the age and the bride/groom has all the great qualities you expect but you reject her/him because of the age factor then there is no adjective to describe you. Marriage is a pit, when you find a perfect match the pit size is small but you reject the perfect match and go behind conventional matches then you make the pit bigger and ready to get yourself hurt!

Maatram ondrae maradhadhu! Stick with good deeds not conventional practices.